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Remembering What Matters

Tuesday, 15. April 2014 18:12

Swallowtail Butterfly share flowersIt’s a year after the Boston Marathon bombings, and as I listen to the stories of those who have lost limbs and loved ones, I find myself deeply moved and weepy.  How lucky am I to have these two legs, these two arms and my loved ones present and accounted for?  And it occurs to me how I often forget to appreciate these simple blessings daily.

What courage it takes to accept and rebuild your life, once something in it has been changed forever – something over which you had absolutely no control.   And yet, I know that many trauma survivors not only survive; they thrive.  They find new meaning and purpose, they love harder, appreciate more and live fully.  On this day of remembering, I am inspired and commit myself to living and loving with the wholeness of my being. I am grateful for the courage of those who have gone before me to show me how, and to help me to never forget that it is the only thing that truly matters.

Category:Self Actualization, Spirituality, Uncategorized | Comments (1) | Author:

Reconciliation and Healing

Monday, 2. September 2013 13:01

I so loved this post, entitled Reconciliation by blogger and yogi Jennifer Pastiloff. I wanted to share (what was for me) the most resonant piece of the essay.

How does the heart reconcile? Does it?

We move on. We get up and go and come home and pour a glass of wine or not, but we never fully get over things. What does getting over even mean? It sounds like some kind of vengeful expression that they would make a movie out of like Die Hard. Getting Over It Part 7.

I am going to get one over on you. I am getting over. It suggests that there is something underfoot, something to be trampled on and overcome.

My heart does not want to overcome or trample on my losses but rather assimilate them into my life so I can function like a “normal” adult with responsibilities and schedules. Right now, I stay in pajamas and write unless I have to go and teach, and I worry about things like having a girl because how do you even braid hair? I worry about having children. Period.

How do you make a diorama? How do you do algebra? What if I don’t want to watch their soccer practice? 

What is a normal adult? Is there such a thing?

I am a woman of a certain age. (Yes, yes, in comparison, I may be very young. I am sure some of you reading are rolling your eyes and saying, “Girl, you are so young.”) Not in baby-making years. I am not at all. Trust me on this. I am young at heart and maybe young looking, but when it comes to ovaries and eggs, I am meh at best.

Do I need to reconcile all my losses before I bring life into the world? Do I need to do the proverbial getting my sh*t together before I make a move?

(What do I do? Who do I ask?)

I have always fantasized about having someone who would give me answers, which is why it was especially devastating that my father died so young because, although I am sure his answers would be fifty percent bullshit, I would take them as The Word, happily and without question. (I would!)

Here I am a teacher and a leader, and I am still searching for someone to tell me what to do.

As I have written about before, one of the worst things for me is deciding what to eat. Recently, in Bali, I went out to eat with someone who takes my yoga classes, and I couldn’t decide what I wanted. I hemmed and hawed and changed my order. I fretted.

She said something to the effect of I have never seen that side of you.

What side? The pressure I feel to be somebody that always inspires, that always knows what to do and what to order and what to eat. I don’t even know if I want a baby, and I am in my late thirties.

So yes, there is this side of me. The side of me that doesn’t know. Who has lost a lot. Who has anxiety, still, yes. Who, sometimes, doesn’t leave her house and who would prefer to write than do or teach yoga and who tends to take things too personally and drinks too much coffee and gets stuck in the past and novels, too.

I have reconciled those things for the most part (some I’d like to keep). But the questions are looming.

I am not looking for answers necessarily.

I think life exists in the questions.

I am looking to never stop asking the questions. To always look and uncover and dig and smell and retrieve and throw back. If I stop asking the questions, I die.

It may take a while for my body to die, but my mind and soul and all other parts of me will wither away immediately if the questions stop. The heart can never reconcile all of it until it stops beating.

I think that is why that line chokes me up. I know the truth behind it.

How shall the heart be reconciled to its feast of losses? It doesn’t.

Some turn to legend, some to fact, some to dust, and, the rest, well, the rest you bury inside of you and reach for it when you are drowning, knowing it will be there. And it will.

Visit Jennifer’s amazing site here: http://www.jenniferpastiloff.com  To read the post  in its entirety, click here.  

 

 

 

Category:Relationships, Self Actualization, Spirituality, Uncategorized, Wellness | Comment (0) | Author:

How Do You Stop A Crazed Gunman?

Monday, 17. December 2012 18:28

This weekend, as I mourned the horrendous loss of life in the Connecticut school shooting along with the rest of the country, I asked myself this question many times, “How do you stop a crazed gunman?” Sadly, the answer seems to be, you probably can’t.  By the time he is holding the gun, the time to stop him or her, has passed.  But that answer doesn’t satisfy my heart and so I continue to seek a response, a course of action so that I may begin to heal my grief with hope.

I believe that while we may not be able to stop a crazed gunman, we may be able to help the child that might otherwise become that gunman.  Inside all of us is a child, a child who may have been bullied, who may have had problems, been traumatized, or who may have been overlooked and passed over and passed along in our system.

Somehow, we have got to take better care of our children, and perhaps that starts by taking better care of ourselves.  Perhaps we need to take an extra moment out of our day to be kinder to ourselves, and then to others.  Perhaps we should stop and help, even when it would be much easier on us and on our hectic schedules to keep on going.

Perhaps I can take a moment to notice and acknowledge the challenges facing another human being.  I can smile.  I can say please and thank you.  I can greet another person with kindness and acknowledge our shared humanity, whether it is a homeless person, the cleaner at the gym or the assistant at my office.   I can take time to call and check on an elderly friend and lend an empathetic ear.

I think I’m a decent person, and yet, I know I can be better.  I can find ways to voice my opposition to injustice I can open my heart not just to my family, but also to the family of man.  I can stop asking, “What’s wrong with this world? And start asking, “What’s right with this world, and how can I be a part of it? “

I can question myself when I feel jealousy, resentment, fear or hatred.  I can get help to understand those feelings, and in turn, help others, especially our children, to understand their feelings – and to cope with them. I can find ways to heal myself, through prayer, yoga, meditation, nonviolent communication and community.  I can reach out.  I may not be able to save the world, but I can be more loving every day, to myself and to others.

I owe it to those innocent children in Connecticut to not just wonder how such horror can occur, but also to wonder what might we do collectively, and individually to change the things in our world that don’t support  the mentally ill, and the children who are suffering from trauma and other kinds of wounds.  Maybe that includes better gun control, maybe that includes locking down our schools, but I also believe it means helping people to love themselves – and each other more. How can we support each other so that we can be well in body, mind and spirit?  How do we work toward loving inclusion, embrace and assist those who are less fortunate or different from ourselves?

How do I become an instrument of good works and positive change?

We may not have all the answers, but I believe that if we keep asking the right questions and seek to live with love, respect, kindness and make wellness a priority over video games as babysitters, more possessions, climbing the corporate ladder and a million other distractions that keep us from putting our children and our souls first, then we can and will change the world.   It is my only hope.

Category:Self Actualization, Spirituality, Wellness | Comments (2) | Author:

On Gratitude

Wednesday, 21. November 2012 14:37

“Gratitude can transform common days into thanksgivings, turn routine jobs into joy, and change ordinary opportunities into blessings.”

William Arthur Ward

 

Happy Thanksgiving!  For more on the benefits of gratitude, visit http://www.theprojectcoach.com/blog/bid/80456/Is-Gratitude-Good-for-You

Category:Creativity & Fun Stuff, Spirituality | Comment (0) | Author:

Transforming Regret into Possibility

Friday, 28. October 2011 15:38

You don’t have to be a Buddhist to get insight from Pema Chödrön,  who began an amazing journey into Tibetan tradition in the 1970’s following a second divorce.  Here’s an excerpt from her book, No Time to Lose: A Timely Guide to the Way of the Bodhisattva:

At least once a year, I imagine that I am about to die. Looking back as truthfully as I can at my entire life, I give full attention to the things I wish hadn’t occurred. Recognizing these mistakes honestly but without self-recrimination, I try to rejoice in the innate wisdom that allows me to see so bravely, and I feel compassion for how I so frequently messed up. Then I can go forward. The future is wide open, and what I do with it is up to me.

Chödrön’s words speak to me because learning self-compassion has been one of the most important lessons of my life.  “Learning to rejoice” in all that I have experienced allows me to move into possibility and away from self-defeating regret. It took many years for me to develop this ability and awareness, but it’s been worthwhile.   Difficult circumstances forced me to face truths that were painful.  Yoga helped me to cope by allowing me to learn the lesson of non-judgment through my physical body. Luckily, I’ve had inspired yoga teachers to guide me.

I’m grateful. I feel an ease in myself that allows me to enjoy more of everyone I meet, and everything I do –even when things go wrong.  And trust me, they do. My journey has taught me to value myself more, one of my key lessons in this life, without which I would still be lost.

But just because I used yoga, doesn’t mean that there aren’t countless paths that lead to self-compassion – so whatever approach works for you, wonderful!  In an interview with Chödrön in the Shambala Sun magazine, she discusses meditation as another possible tool:

A big part of compassion is being honest with yourself, not shielding yourself from your mistakes as if nothing had happened. And the other big component is being gentle.

This is what meditation is about, but obviously it goes beyond sitting on a meditation cushion. You begin to see your moods and your attitudes and your opinions. You begin to hear this voice, your voice, and how it can be so critical of self and others. There is growing clarity about all the different parts of yourself.

Meditation gives you the tools to look at all of this clearly, with an unbiased attitude. A lot of having compassion toward oneself is staying with the initial thought or arising of emotion. This means that when you see yourself being aggressive, or stuck in self-pity, or whatever it might be, then you train again and again in not adding things on top of that—guilt or self-justification or any further negativities. You work on not spinning off and on being kinder toward the human condition as you see it in yourself.”

And with that thought, I wish you many blessings on this day.  May you learn what you need to learn in this life, and may you enjoy the peacefulness of gratitude in so doing.

For more about Pema Chödrön, visit the Shambala Publications website where you can also read the Shambala Sun magazine interview   in its entirety.  You can also visit Shambhala Sun Magazine — http://www.shambhalasun.com for articles about Buddhism, meditation, and culture.

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Stuyvesant High School, Safety and Celebration

Friday, 16. September 2011 12:18

I recently attended a high school reunion and had a wonderful time. I know lots of folks don’t feel that way about their high school get-togethers, so I feel particularly lucky. Perhaps it’s partly because I attended a “special” high school in Manhattan, where little attention was paid to one’s ethnic and socioeconomic background. Many of us traveled a far distance from neighboring boroughs to get to Manhattan every day, so students were motivated to learn.

For some of us, Stuyvesant High School provided a welcome escape from dysfunctional family life, tough neighborhoods, difficult junior high experiences, and the many other places where we just didn’t seem to fit. There were few fights at school, and to the best of my knowledge, no bullying. In short, at “Stuy”, we had a place to go that felt safe.

That’s not to say that we were all friends, and that there wasn’t typical teenage angst and suffering, but it was a community, one that embraced a live and let-live attitude. Now, almost 35 years later, it’s clear that while most of us have had our share of tragedy, success, love and loss, we are genuinely happy to see each other.

When you think about it, our high school peers are the people who knew us in the raw, when life was still fresh and innocent. The newness of love, lust, joy and hurt were magnified about 1000 times back then and every discovery was tremendously exciting as a result. It was a time of possibility, deep human learning and boundless energy. Our high school peers are the people who knew us when we were kernels that had not yet popped.

And although we share many “secrets”, it doesn’t seem to matter anymore. These are the people who know if you were a geek, a stoner or a jock. Fortunately, we seem to have moved beyond the labels that once bound and limited us. At the same time, these folks have a foundational understanding of who we are as individuals, long before we became moms, dads, poets or people in charge of many things.

This shared history allowed me to experience a few magnificent moments at the reunion. It was delicious to be in the presence of people who could still see the shiny, exuberance of youth in each other’s eyes and smiles, while losing track of graying hair, extra pounds and the fine lines of experience etched across our faces.

This experience made me keenly aware that being part of a community that shares values, and values acceptance, is a great gift. Being with people who can see past the exterior and can acknowledge and appreciate the kernel of your raw individuality and share a joyful moment is a soul celebration. Perhaps not all high school reunions afford the same gifts, but my hope for you and I, is that we have many more opportunities to experience and to create these connections throughout our lives, for ourselves, and for others, at work, at play and in our world community.

Category:Creativity & Fun Stuff, Spirituality | Comments (5) | Author:

Building on the Past

Friday, 9. September 2011 13:49

We can’t change the past, but we can honor the lessons that we have learned, and build our future using  our hard earned wisdom as a foundation.  This World Trade Center Memorial  video was shared by a friend, and I felt compelled to share it with you, in remembrance of 9.11.   May you be well and courageous as you build upon your past.

 

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Abundance – An Inside Job, Guest Post by Renata Loree

Thursday, 4. August 2011 18:44

There has been so much written on the subject of getting what you want. There are manuals, step by step procedures and new age ideas that recommend what to do to achieve our goals.

But I have to say that the only good advice I have ever gotten is to be grateful for what I already have. Through this simple recognition, I realized that everything I ever need is within reach. Just being in a state of gratefulness removes the illusion of not having enough.

The tricky part is to not be caught up in the “more trap”, like, if I only had that one more thing I would be happy, or, if I only had a boyfriend and a car or a house.  The feeling of lack often starts with the perception of not having enough of something to fulfill the need to be happy. When I meditate or sit still quietly every day, I can stop the onslaught of negative thoughts that constantly tells me that I am powerless. If I can remove this negative veil and see it for the lie that it is, I can see how abundant and powerful I really am.

The magic happens from there. Like attracts like. That is the first law in the universe. If you seek love, be the love you seek. If you seek peace, be that peace. This life beckons us to examine what it is that we truly want. Is it really the big house on the hill that will give you the life that you desire? Name your dream and then examine it. Sit still and ask yourself what it is that you really need, and you might surprise yourself. It may not be the expensive car, the beautiful clothes or a fabulous vacation.

These things can actually pull you further away from who you really are, because they often mask the truth of what you truly desire. You might find that what you really wanted already resides within you. The most magical thing happens then when you realize this simple truth, that you already have everything you need, all you have to do is drop everything that is in the way.  When that happens, all the things that you truly want start appearing in your life, as you watch in disbelief, because you did not have to do a thing.

I have this simple story to tell to demonstrate what I am talking about.

A few years back, I was sitting in a coffee shop on a beautiful day taking a break. I struck up a conversation with the gentleman next to me. It just so happened, that he is the father of a fellow yoga teacher I know. He started to entertain me with stories from his son’s childhood and I also found that he was a real-estate agent. In return, I told this older gentleman what my dream house would look like. I described a spacious house with large windows, overlooking an expanse of water, probably situated on a hill. He smiled at me and said that he knew of a house like this and that he wanted me to see it. He gave me the address and his card. I went to look at the house, even though at that time I was in no position to shop for real estate. I was hugely disappointed. I drove by shaking my head in disbelief. How could anyone think that this was my dream house? But this only reinforced the vision that I had. It was as clear as the brightest day. And then I let it go, realizing it was still just a dream.

A couple of years later, my life went into turmoil.  I lost pretty much everything I had or cared about. I was thrown into a completely different lifestyle. Although there was little that remained, I decided to turn to the only thing that mattered: me. Every day I would sit quietly and examine what it was that really was me. I felt the space, the love and the peace that resided there. Nothing else was needed and I was supremely grateful for it. It made me appreciate the beauty of the little I had left and how abundant I could feel regardless of my circumstances.

Soon after, I became involved in a loving relationship and my boyfriend invited me to move in with him.  And guess what? I now live in a house that looks just like the dream house I described to my coffeehouse friend. I do not own it, my boyfriend does, but that is the magic. Abundance is not owned, it is perceived. It comes and goes with the flux of life. And there is no amount of cunning thought that I could have possibly come up with to design how to make this happen.

Sometimes we need a stroke of bad luck to shake us up so we can see things from a different perspective. A simple disaster put me in a place where abundance had to come from inside me – and I am grateful for it every day.

 

Renata Loree, RYT  is the owner of Yogaspot, a vinyasa yoga studio in Wellesley, Massachusetts. She has been teaching yoga for over 10 years and encourages her students to explore the creative and meditative aspect of yoga to enhance their journey to personal freedom.  Visit her website at Yogaspot.net

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Showing Up In Cancerland, A Guest Post by Christine Fugate

Tuesday, 5. July 2011 20:45

In January 2011, my friend and talented writer, Christine Fugate was diagnosed with Stage 2B Invasive Ductal Carcinoma in her left breast and lymph nodes. Within two weeks, she had a double mastectomy and 16 lymph nodes removed. She is undergoing chemotherapy and will complete six weeks of radiation by the end of the year. She posts a private blog, which she says, “is my therapy, my retreat, my sharing of a journey through Cancerland.”  She and her hubby have two school age children, Sara and Caterina.  Christine also has a few wigs,  one in particular is named “Tina.”

Her latest post was so compelling that I asked her if I might share it in my blog, 7 Layer Living.  She agreed.   Many thanks to Christine for reminding me to show up and for sharing her beautiful soul with the rest of us.

Showing Off or Showing Up?                                                                     

by Christine Fugate

I feel like I crossed the finish line last week after showing up for Sara’s school play (she played Claudine Cooter, the nosy neighbor); Caterina’s tap dance recital (2 1/2 hours with no air conditioning); Sara’s jazz and hip-hop recital (2 hours no air conditioning and no wig); Caterina’s fifth grade graduation (7 a.m. wake up call) and an infusion of Taxol, my new chemo medication (five hours in a chair). It was a week filled with so many blessings and wonderful events. I was thrilled I could crawl out of bed, stand upright and move from seat to seat.

Each evening’s the topic of discussion was ‘What is mom going to wear on her head for tomorrow’s event?’ For the school play, I wore wig Tina and a beret, Sara’s first choice. For both dance recitals, I wore a green scarf. Hubby saw me sweating so much during the second recital, he pulled the scarf off my head, much to Sara’s dissatisfaction.

For the graduation, Caterina requested that I wear the pink wig. I felt a little reluctant about it, not wanting to draw attention to myself, but it became a whole thing in our house. We found a dress, shoes and even nail polish to match the wig. Pink. Pink. Pink. Thank goodness the theme was Hawaiian.

Getting dressed that morning, I started to get anxious and have a hot flash, but I told myself, “It’s Caterina’s day, not mine.”

Sure enough, when I walked into the auditorium, I heard a dad say, “What’s with the pink wig?”

A woman leaned over and whispered, “She has breast cancer.”

Oh boy, I sighed, why did I have to have such good hearing? I put a smile on my face and sat down. Watching the faces of the children singing and hugging their teachers upon receipt of their ‘diplomas’ was beautiful. I got teary eyed but was able to contain myself. If those floodgates opened, I knew there would loud sobs coming from our seats.

At the breakfast reception, I saw friends who hadn’t seen me in the pink wig. The comments started to flow, ranging from, “You look like you are out of Vogue magazine” to “My mom wanted to know who’s the pink Carol Channing.”

I noticed some friends looking at me and smiling at me. “We were just saying that you shouldn’t be so shy. You need to draw more attention to yourself,” they laughed.

Funny? Maybe to the old Christine, but not the new one. “This is what Caterina wanted. Her request for the pink wig,” I lamely replied. It was clear I had sadly lost my sense of humor.

Back home, I felt that searing burn of loneliness that comes with fighting cancer.

“Have I lost my sense of humor?” I asked hubby, questioning whether this joyride through Cancer Land had also taken my ability to appreciate irony and sarcasm.

“No, it’s just different now. People just don’t understand how much effort it takes for you to be in the normal world.”

He was right. There was a gap in what people said. Otherwise why would you say: ‘My good friend died of breast cancer;’ ”My neighbor has been fighting it for fourteen years;’ There is a reason for your cancer;’ or my personal favorite; ‘It was meant to be.’ Of course, no one means to hurt my feelings. Everyone means well. I got it. I never used to know what to say.

The one I used to ask cancer patients was ‘What can I do for you? I want to help.’ Asking that is like asking a baby to explain how to change a diaper. We have no idea what to say. Or at least I don’t. Sure I could spit out some sarcasm like ‘Invent an anti-body to invasive ductal carncinoma’ or ‘Introduce me to George Clooney and his Italian villa,’ but those aren’t realistic.

I think the best things to say to someone with cancer are, ‘It’s great to see you up and about’ and ‘I’ve been thinking about you.’ ‘You look beautiful’ never hurt a bald person either.

If you really want to help someone, then DO something. Bring a hot meal, arrange a play date, send a card, post a comment, share a funny movie, bring chocolate.

But what do I know? I am an awful conversationalist and isolationist these days. I can only do so much small talk about politics, Pilates and parenting the tweenager. I can do big topics like the pros and cons of radiation or green tea, but after awhile I tire of that, too.

I also struggle with reading social cues. When someone asks me how my new chemo was, do they really want to know? Do they want to know that my two baby toes are starting to go numb and I’m terrified that the feeling won’t come back? Or that every time I eat, my stomach protests? Should I share they while my nausea is better it hurts to lift my arms and legs? That kind of info is a buzz kill on a perfectly fine summer day.

If someone told me that, I would want to make them laugh with ‘ Who needs ten toes anyway?’ ‘Who needs to eat when you can drink pina coladas?’ ‘I’ve always thought walking was overrated?’ (You can tell, I’m kind of obsessed with my feet going numb! I did speak with Nurse Arla today who told me that the feeling will come back around six months after my chemo has ended.) But who ever thinks of those funnies on the spot? Not me.

That’s why I usually reply, “Chemo was okay.”

The good news is I’m about to gain 20 lbs. (Ah! Some sarcasm.) I have to take heavy steroids with Taxol, to prevent an allergic reaction. Most of my chemo friends have gained at least 20 pounds on it, saying it’s inevitable.

Fat and bald. Oh boy, I can hardly wait for the fun.

I obviously need to take Meg’s advice and start puffing away on the medicinal marijuana. The only problem is I get the munchies. Puffing to puff up. Seems like some kind of vicious circle.

I don’t know what I’m rambling on about in this post, except that I have realized that I am a not a shy person with a cancer. I am not going to put on a normal colored wig and pretend that nothing is wrong with me, that daily life is not incredibly difficult. By being out there with it, I am not saying look at me, I have cancer. I’m not trying to make a statement or educate the world. I’m just trying to have fun with something that is incredibly painful.

I cross the finish line everyday in showing up for myself, my girls and my husband. It’s harder that I’ve ever worked. I often fantasize about the days I used to travel on my own. My only responsibilities were my backpack and a place to sleep. But then I remember that the only thing I ever wanted was my own family. Which thank goodness, I have.

Most days I show up with the help of medications, rest and a lots of patience. If I have to leave the house, I need coffee, sugar and a choice between the fuzzy head, pink wig or Tina.

We all struggle to show up in one way or another. I would love to know, what does showing up mean for you?

 

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Eviscerate Your Fear

Thursday, 11. November 2010 15:47

Fear can be an incredibly helpful response when your life is in danger.  On the other hand, the fear that we create in our minds is usually not so helpful. Often it’s about something we think might hurt us:   “I’m afraid of getting fired, I’m afraid my boyfriend will cheat, I’m afraid of getting old”…on and on and on.  This brand of fear can stop you in your tracks and prevent you from enjoying your life.  Fear

I’m not saying it’s easy, but it is possible to handle fear – and handle it we must, or we risk getting stuck in our own mind-trap.  For me, getting more information and then taking positive action based on that information, is a great tool for eviscerating fear.

I start by getting really honest, curious, and specific about what it is that scares me.  That way, once I get a handle on what I truly fear, I can take action to increase my ability to manage the outcome. I find that positive action takes the fangs out of my fear and can actually make my life more fun! Informed, inspired action makes me feel that I’m taking charge of my destiny.  It makes me feel empowered.

For example, let’s say it’s the fear of getting old…

I ask myself (usually I write all this down) Why?  What is it that I am so afraid of? Answer:

As I age, I will become useless, less attractive, overlooked, and find it more difficult to do things I enjoy. 

Okay, what does useless mean?  That no one will hire me?  That no one will want to date me?  Then, what steps can I take to lessen the possibility of those outcomes?   I can’t control everything, but I can take positive action on things that are within my control. So instead of worrying and feeling anxious, I ask myself, what can I do to make a difference – and what sounds do-able, even fun?  Here are a few possibilities that came to mind:

  • Take a class and learn a new skill that will keep my job skills fresh.
  • Volunteer to help those less fortunate than myself to keep me feeling useful.
  • Employ a weekly exercise program (stretching and weightlifting) that will help me stay limber and strong.
  • Take a ballroom dance class (I like this one the best!) to meet  fun people and stay in shape.

 I believe that pursuing any one of these tactics would help me feel better and more in control of my fear of aging.   In fact, doing any of these things would leave me less time to worry, and could even bring new, positive people and experiences into my life!

Unfortunately, there are times that fear and anxiety are so overwhelming, you can’t even allow yourself to think about the thing you fear.  In those instances, you can call your therapist, your best friend or your life coach.  If that’s not an option, then you may want to give “EFT”, the Emotional Freedom Technique, a try. It’s a simple tapping technique you can do yourself – for free.

Even if it seems silly, you may want to try it.  According to Dr. Mercola’s EFT site, (an excellent resource)  it‘s a form of acupressure, based on using some of the same energy meridians used in traditional acupuncture. By tapping specific meridians on your head and chest with your fingertips while you voice a positive affirmation, you help clear the emotional block from your bio-energy system. This restores your mind and body’s balance, and gets you calmer.  The Mercola EFT site  offers  a pictorial  step-by-step approach through the process if you want to learn more.

There are also a variety of  YouTube videos that leads you through the process.  Here’s one that I found simple and straightforward to use.      However, there are a variety of  options and  applications, so if this one is not to your liking, you may want to view some others.    I also noticed that there is variation in the tapping points and the affirmations used, but the basics of the technique are fairly consistent.  

However you do it, I wish you the best in coping with your fear and anxiety. Seek help from a physician or therapist if  you can’t manage on your own.  It’s natural to feel fear, but please don’t let it stop you from living a joyful life.

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