Finding the Motivation to Create Lasting Change

Okay, you’ve committed to a goal, a resolution for the year.  If you are like 75% of us, you won’t complete your mission.  If that’s the case, I ask you, did you set the right goal?

Unless your goal squarely addresses the question, “WHAT IS YOUR HEARTS DESIRE?”  consider resetting your goal.  Why?  Because it’s much easier to stick to a goal when your heart is in the game. Instead of setting a goal and hunting for motivation, try finding your motivation, and then setting your goal.

You may be saying, “C’mon Catherine, it is my heart’s desire to lose 30 pounds,”  Really?

Here’s an example of what I mean.  For about 10 years, every December 31st, I made a resolution to weigh 115 pounds.  I was convinced that 115 was “the perfect” weight for me based on height charts I had seen. I decided that at that weight, I would look thin. In actuality, I probably weighed 115 pounds for about 30 seconds in my entire adolescent life.  At the age of 22, not only had I set an unrealistic goal, but I also considered myself a failure who lacked will power everytime I missed the mark.

I finally figured out that I was solving for the wrong outcome.  What I really wanted was to feel comfortable in my body.  I wanted to stop eating when I was full.  I wanted to stop using food as a drug to help me feel less sad, mad, tired or angry.  I wanted more energy, more vitality, – even if I never weighed 115 pounds.  In fact, my resolution was actually getting in the way of what I really wanted.

Rather than feed my feelings, I needed to feel them so I could solve for the issues causing them.     Once I knew specifically what my feelings were telling me and what I really wanted, I was able to take steps to create lasting change.  For me, yoga was part of the solution.  It encouraged me to have a relationship with my body, my breath, and to quiet my mind.  It helped me to develop equanimity in the face of difficulty.  It taught me to judge myself less by adopting the perspective of a curious observer, who could bear empathetic witness to my needs rather than bludgeoning them with criticism.

I’m not suggesting yoga as a solution for everyone, but I am suggesting that listening to your heart is.    That may feel scary.  Maybe you’re afraid to want what you want.  But, you know as well as I do, that there are typically several solutions to any problem.  If you get stuck, or feel afraid, take a tiny step, like doing research.  If that doesn’t work, get assistance.  You can ask a trusted friend, a counselor, or a coach to help brainstorm solutions. Or, start a journal, read a book, try prayer or meditation! Perhaps to begin with, your goal can simply be to learn to listen to your heart.   That may be enough for now.

Once you allow yourself to know your heart’s desire, pick one small step (or even a big step) to get you on your path. The important thing is that you pick a step that you can and will do!   Get the ball rolling – it’s sure to take you somewhere.  Most of all, be gentle with yourself and good luck!

For more insights about how to get what you want, and a free resolution success tool, visit my Project U. blog, at theprojectcoach.com.

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Date: Wednesday, 4. January 2012 20:18
Trackback: Trackback-URL Category: Self Actualization, Wellness

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