Why Taking Care of Yourself Might Just Help Heal the World

When I talk with some coaching clients, they often tell me that it’s hard to take time for themselves. It makes them feel “selfish” and that, they say is a bad thing.  But I disagree with their premise. I don’t think that taking care of yourself is necessarily the same as being selfish.    In fact, if you look closely, taking care of yourself could be beneficial for everyone.  How?  Let’s start with some definitions:

Self-ish : you put your needs above others

Self-less:  you put others needs above yours

Self-caring:  your needs are equal to the needs of others.

I believe if every person could practice self-care, that the world would heal itself. Why?  Just imagine how we would treat each other if no one’s needs were greater or lesser than anyone else’s.   So, if I believe that my need for X is just as important as your need for Y – and you feel the same way, my guess is that we could create a solution that respectfully allows us to both get what we need.  Maybe we could take turns, or find a way to share available resources.  We could relax because we could trust one another and ourselves.

And yes, sometimes being self-less does make sense, like when you put your life on the line to rescue a child from a burning building, or some situation that compels you to take heroic action. However, on a day-to-day basis, being self-less can create resentment, anger and inequality… not a condition that adds to mutual respect and understanding.

So, I say, acknowledge and honor what you need, and respect the needs of others.  Realize that everyone has needs and rights – even you.  Try to work with others to create mutually satisfactory solutions.  If the other person doesn’t cooperate (either because they are selfish or self-less) you still have nothing to lose, because you will have acknowledged and addressed your needs.  Maybe others will follow your example.   If everyone did exactly that and developed more self- esteem and mutual respect, perhaps there would be peace on earth.   Or, at least a little more kindness.

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Date: Sunday, 23. October 2011 14:06
Trackback: Trackback-URL Category: Relationships, Self Actualization, Uncategorized, Wellness

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