How to Find and Keep True Love

Relationship Coach, Marquita Thompson

Married or single, if you’re looking for true love, Master Life and Relationship Coach, Marquita Thompson, has some interesting  thoughts to share with you. As far as relationships, she went to the school of hard knocks. After experiencing her fair share of failed partnerings, she is now happily married and posts a blog called “How to Love a Nice Guy.” 

My interview with her is posted below – and it’s filled with lots of juicy stories and insights. I picked a few highlights to share in this summary, but check out the interview to learn about soul mates, getting through the loss of a love, and solid tips for making love last.

As a relationship coach, Marquita offers tools and guidance, usually not straight-up advice.  When I asked her about true love, she suggested that it means giving true love to yourself first. When you know who you are, what you want and you can accept and love yourself, then you can choose to love someone else in the same way, and you will be well on your way.  In a truly loving relationship, both you and your mate feel free to be who you are and at the same time, you can also enjoy time together.

As you feel solid in who you are, get really clear about what you want in a mate. Thompson says to make a list of all your “must haves “and your “deal breakers”. Then go out and live your life. Meet people, date them, and check your list.  Don’t compromise on the deal breakers but, if the person is a good match to your list, give the relationship time if physical attraction isn’t immediately obvious.

Why? Thompson  finds that once you work on yourself  and you know what you really want, your list doesn’t always lead you to the same kind of people you historically have been attracted to. If you’re not used to picking the right kind of guy or gal, you may need to be patient and be willing to explore.  So, while you may not feel that same “love at first sight” (but you might) feeling when you meet the mate who matches your list, it doesn’t mean that he or she is not “the one.”  Even if you do feel the electricity immediately, Thompson warns not to be in a hurry.  If it’s a good match, then the relationship will stand the test of time.

Another great tip for spotting your perfect mate:  pay more attention to what the person does versus what the person says. We can all talk the talk, but can we walk the walk?  Behavior is an excellent indicator of true character.  Don’t ignore it.

If you’re already in a relationship and it isn’t going well, Thompson once again recommends that you focus on yourself to get back on the right path.   If you are waiting, hoping or prodding for change in your significant other, you may not get the outcome you desire.  After all, can you really change someone else?  When you know who you are, and what you want, the rest of your life usually falls into place, and you’ll be able to deal with your situation better, whether you decide to stay or go.

Find out more about Marquita at her site, Stellar Coaching Solutions at and her blog  She also has a book of blog postings called Practical Magic for Love that can be found at

In the meantime, much love to you!

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Date: Monday, 14. February 2011 17:14
Trackback: Trackback-URL Category: Love & Sex

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