Desire to Improve Valentine's Day?

For many people, Valentine’s Day is simply a reminder of what they don’t have – the soul mate or partner they’ve been searching for, but who never appears.  Or they may lament being stuck in a “bad” or unsatisfying relationship.  So they pine and they long for something else.  Sadly, focusing on what you “lack” and feeling badly about the situation does nothing to make a good partnership or a better life become a reality. So what can you do instead?

I suggest you focus on possibility. You can begin to change your life by knowing what you really want.  When you have a vision of what you want, you can empower yourself to take inspired action. Here are a few fun exercises you can do to get on the road to knowing and manifesting what you desire. To create these, I borrowed from a concept called Law of Attraction.

My quick and dirty explanation of this Law is that if you can feel the feeling of already having your heart’s desire, you can begin to make it real.  No, it’s not a magic wand, but it’s more energizing (and more fun) than focusing on what you lack.   The exercises below will allow you to try it for yourself.  What do you have to lose?

Start by answering some suggested questions: 

1)    What qualities do I want my perfect mate to have?

  • What do I enjoy about being with my lover?
  • What are his or her qualities and characteristics?
  • How does my partner treat me?
  • What values do we share?
  • What is most important to them?
  • What do they want to achieve before they leave this world?
  • What do they really love about their life?

2)    What qualities do I want to have in a relationship with my perfect mate?

  • What does my lover enjoy about being with me?
  • What qualities and characteristics do I have that my lover especially appreciates?
  • How do I treat my perfect mate?
  • What fun things do we do together?
  • What values are non-negotiable for me?
  • What do I love about my life?
  • What is most important to me in the world?
  • What do I want to achieve before I leave this world?
  • What would a perfect week be like when we are together?
  • How do I feel when we are together? Can I feel that way right now?

Notice, if you have trouble answering some of these questions about yourself.  If so, you may find it worthwhile to spend some more time being in love with yourself and your life to feel shiny in your own skin. Have you ever noticed how attractive people are when they are living a life they are truly excited about?    

If instead, you are hoping your mate will complete you by filling in your missing blanks –even though it’s okay to feel that way, your life will probably be a lot more fun if you know and love who you are first.   In that way, you can have a fabulous life with or without a partner.  And when you do join your partner, you will have lots of joy to share!

3) To wrap the exercise up

  • Write yourself a love letter as if it were from your lover and/or 
  • Write your lover a love letter as if he or she lives and breathes and their presence is imminent!
  • Once one or more letters are complete, read them to yourself and feel the feelings you wrote about, as if you had it all now: love, joy and passion.  Then, put them away in a safe place.  Feel free to take them out and read them again whenever you want to – or not! And if you do take them out, allow yourself to feel the feelings as if they were happening right now.
  • As often as you want, visit what it feels like to have someone in your life to write that kind of letter to.  Feel the presence of your soul mate, not their absence.  

4) Take inspired action

To start to realize your vision about yourself and your lover, what feels good to do next? Did you learn something about yourself that would be beneficial to pursue right now?  If not, no worries; just know and believe that love for yourself and others is always available to you – and then go out and spread some!

How?  Here’s one idea:  To honor the joy of Valentine’s Day, send a message of love and appreciation to everyone you care about.  It’s a great time to share – and you may brighten  someone else’s day who is struggling with this event.

So if it’s appropriate for you, feel free to redefine Valentine’s Day as a time of empowerment: take action to honor and know yourself and what you want, and take action to share your love with others. 

Now that, for me, is a fabulous holiday!

Read more about the Law of Attraction

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Date: Monday, 8. February 2010 17:53
Trackback: Trackback-URL Category: Love & Sex, Relationships, Self Actualization

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