Do You Have Dirty* Thoughts?

Every now and then, the Lizard of Fear rears its ugly head and talks me into a dark mood.  Stomach churning, I question my ability to succeed, to be loved, to be a friend, a lover, a good mother.

Yes, even coaches get the blues.  And so, I take out my notebook, and I being to clean up my thinking. Using my pencil to wash away the primordial fears of lack and attack,  I question if what I am thinking is really true.  Can I be sure that it is true?  Or is there evidence that in fact, I have overcome difficulties before, and that it is highly likely that I will succeed again?

Some days are harder than others. Some days, I have pressing engagements and commitments that stall my ability to coach myself from wrong thinking to clear, clean, energetic thinking. On those days, I push through the foggy blue until I can snatch a few quiet moments for redemption and relief. Note paper in hand, I begin again to transform my day into what I wish it to be:  a fantastic day of moving forward, loving my life as it is, and creating my future.

I haven’t yet arrived at a place of steady state nirvana, where one never suffers again, but I have found that with simple work: awareness, attention, and process, getting back to feeling good has been attainable for me.   And even though it is work, it’s the kind of work that can turn a foggy blue day into a bright, azure day – and even better, with practice, it seems to be getting easier.

*Authors Martha Beck and Byron Katie talk about “dirty pain”, the concept that much of our suffering comes from the way we think about something, not from the actual situation itself.

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Date: Tuesday, 27. October 2009 2:04
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